One Year Down

Holy moly, we're coming up on our first anniversary here in Texas! I think we closed on our house like July 30th or 31st of last year. I've heard that a moving trend is as follows: the first year is terrible, the second year is a breath of fresh air and a feeling of "maybe I can do this", and by the third year you love it.
Accordingly, this first year was supposed to be terrible.
Now, rewind to my first year of marriage. How many of you all heard that the first year of marriage is the hardest? So much for well wishes and words of encouragement-- that little did bit gets thrown into the mix more often than it should! Having heard at least a thousand times how hard the first year of marriage was going to be, Yosh and I often made comments before reaching our first anniversary how we didn't know what anyone was talking about! We felt like we were nailing it and that we must be the anomaly. Can you believe we even enjoyed our first year?
But there is something- actually A LOT- to be said about perspective. A couple of our first year issues that immediately come to mind: I remember giving Yosh the silent treatment a few of those days, we fought over whether or not Yosh would come to my family reunion with me (he did come), or my mission reunion for that matter (he didn't come), and we didn't agree on curfew (Yosh loved played Halo with his buddies at their apt til 3, 4, or 5 in the morning::).) This is just my side of the issues- who knows what Yosh could add to the list. All this to say, that while in our state of "nailing it", we were doing a lot of growing and figuring out how we were going to function as a couple. We have come a long way from those days. But in the present, it was all we knew and we spent a lot of days where we were on the same page and all through the year, we still enjoyed each other's company. Our first year was far from a living hell. Please take strong note of my next comment: I hope to not have to go back to my first year of marriage. Fingers crossed this is my only marriage. Fingers crossed that Yosh and I maintain our relationship so that we're not at a crossroads where starting over is the only remedy to saving our marriage. That first year was a great building block and necessary step to be where we are now, but...been there, done that.
So, having completed our first year here in Texas and while still lacking perspective, I can honestly say it hasn't been that bad at all. In fact its' been good. Our family is thriving, I'm learning a lot about myself, I've taken good care of myself despite not being surrounded by familiar people and places, and I'm not completely depressed and ready to throw in the towel. I can also say I've met a lot of great people and have found a lot of things I genuinely enjoy and appreciate about Austin (the food and water activities.)
Would I move to SoCal if the opportunity arised? In a heartbeat without a second thought.
I'm curious what my take will be on year one when we have a few more years under our belt. But for now, I'm looking over the last year with a good taste in my mouth and without too many complaints.

Wait, maybe life is good

The flip side to the arrival of homesickness... Because there's always a flip side. have you noticed that about life? The most current, obvious emotion/situation might be a negative one. But take a moment and you'll realize something else is going real good. And vise versa. Is something real good going on in your life? Did also bring something a little negative with it? It usually works out like that.
So even though we're out of the honeymoon stage of moving and dealing with everything that accompanies that, other parts of life are absolutely amazing. Take Yosh and I for example. We were chatting the other night and both commented on how good things were between us. That we're way into each other and have just been clicking for a good spell now.

And the same with the kids. Feel like we're enjoying the whole parenting gig and taking advantage of more moments and proactively doing more things. I had a few goals regarding the family when we moved to Texas (i.e.: start cooking Sunday dinners with them, do FHE, weekly family dates where kids take more of an initiative planning, etc) and believe it or not, we've been doing decently. Even three months later. Watch, now that I'm getting all cocky everything's going to go to pot!

So yes, life is good. A little unsettling? Yes. But the good life coexists quite comfortably with unsettled areas.

I Love LA

I have very few memories of feeling homesick. When I think back to college, here's no isolated memory that stands out. My mission definitely has a couple. In the MTC on multiple occasions I remember wishing that I would get hurt severely enough that I would get honorably dismissed from the whole mission deal but that the injury wouldn't have a really lasting affect....of course. When I got to Uruguay, day 3 was super hard. I remember being in the shower just crying, homesick. But I can't think of many more times. This month marks a year that we found out a move was most likely in our future. After finding out, I kept waiting for the reality of it all to hit, for the sadness that I was surely going to feel to emerge. Months passed. But it didn't hit me. And then we were down to weeks. And, finally, days. Still, with the exception of a few brief moments, there was no surge of emotion. We made it to Texas and transitioned very well. Almost seamlessly. Funny enough, there were certain words and pictures that triggered waves of homesickness: Coronado. Hearing that word made me feel sick to my stomach knowing I wasn't a short two hours away. I remember reading a magazine and seeing pictures of Dana Point. The same pang came and stabbed at me. But once again, these were mere moments. Deeter, Kaia, and I went back to LA on October 17th for a visit.  And let me tell you, flying into LAX I was downright homesick. The view, the buildings, the familiarity....all of it made my heart just hurt. As I drove down the PCH, all the build up of the previous 11 months finally found the surface. I felt absolutely homesick.
That feeling made every detail of the trip so much more acute. Instead of smelling good, it literally smelt heavenly. Seeing the Santa Monica "Mountains" rolling down to meet the ocean felt like I had just stepped into a dream. Then being with my people face to face...  I felt on the verge of tears, as if I was reuniting with long lost lovers that I had thought to never see again. While they are my lovers, it had only been two or three months and I always knew I'd see them again!
So it was awesome to be back.
Today I'm writing honestly and admitting that I miss California. I miss home. A lot. I do like Texas. But I love Southern California. And I love the community I had there.
I try not to put timelines on my life and I try not to look forward to future events too much in an effort to enjoy the now and adjust to the here. But this weekend I'm reminding myself that Austin is a three year gig. Whether or not that is a lie is TBD and, really, not all that important. Sometimes all you need is a little bit of hope to keep you going and enjoying. Even if it's false hope.

My two traveling buddies.
We went from the airport, to get the car, to the Desai's where we spent the first three nights.

After reuniting with my lover, aka Christy, and my second lover, aka Cafe Vida, we went to Kaskade's Atmosphere show. Chelsi came also. {Note to self: pray I don't have stupid teenagers that do the standing Provo push for hours on end.}  Somehow we ended up at Kaskade again on Friday night. Show starting at midnight. Yes, Chelsi and D and Yosh and Darshan went as well. That's how us Hansen's do 2 am apparently! Fun fun night{s}!

The babies and I took advantage one last time of still having Disney passes and spent a few hours there. Loved it! And love having passes where it's completely acceptable to stay for only 5 hours!

Saturday Yosh and I went to one of his co-workers wedding. It was an amazing ceremony. The father of the groom had recently passed away. There was an added tenderness and genuinely felt in all the words and memories shared.

Sunday, Yosh headed home and the kids and I continued on up to Camarillo to stay with the Nielsen's and kick it with the valley crew. Sunday night was Stonefire. Monday was hanging with the girls and kids before our nanny, aka Jono, opened a window for escape and we snuck off to lunch. And of course finished the day off with a girls dinner at Umami Burger. Where we ate lots of food. No, really...we ate a lot. But do we seriously not have a single picture, girls??? Well, you know what that means.....
DO OVER!!!!

Stupid Dumb Butt times 2

I'm coming to the close of another night and dare I admit, I'm sitting on the couch letting out a heavy sigh of relief? Well, I am. I have been on pins and needles all day and, alas, I can rest easy. I will now explain why. In case Deeter reads this as a tender tween (are tweens tender and sensitive?), I will water down my next statement: Deeter has been terrible this week. I've never denied the fact that I'm a bit slow to catch on to things,  and this case was no exception. For a while I thought he was acting bad because of the time change/lack of sleep. And then because he was mad that the boys started school and he didn't. And then this week, when he was downright terrible for two days, I had run out of excuses. The light finally went on that the move is surely to blame. But it's time to move on, buddy. I think my final wake up call was hearing Kaia cuss out a few adorable guys who thought they were saving her life. They told her not to touch a piping hot stove and she about lost in on their a.s.s. es. "You dumb butt boys. Stupid boys. I don't care. Stupid dumb butt. I hate you," and on and on and on. I kid you not. A good 2 minute rant. And you know who she sounded exactly like? Uh huh, her greatest mentor, Big Papa Deetz in the house.

And you know that saying, you gotz to nip it in the bud. And we knew who the bud was. I could give two craps about the time change, the school mishap, or even the move. I was over it. Sympathetic mom up and moved out on Deeter two days ago. In came Nanny 911 wannabe in her place.
I think I had the boy in time out for a solid hour and a half yesterday. And all the while, he was threatened with a solid, forceful flick in the mouth if another ugly word came out of his mouth. Things were getting for real. We played hard ball like the best of them. I went to bed depressed and exhausted. Have no idea if The Sir could say the same or not.
But today? Today I cringed when I told him it was time to turn off electronics and go to school. Much to my surprise, he said ok and turned it off. I braced myself when it was time to leave his friend's house. He thought about fighting and started to talk mean, but one little distraction later and we were in the clear. Dinner went fine. Bedtime was great.
And I feel like 20 pounds have been lifted off my shoulders. I can't tell you the last time I had a day where I wasn't called a stupid girl or a mean mom, or the last day I wasn't the recipient of a soulful "I hate you". Times are changing y'all and I'm not fighting it.

On Not Running Interference

So when I was applying to open a Menchies franchise, you can imagine my shock and absolute horrification when they demanded a resume from me as part of the application process. As a mom {who became a mom merely 3 weeks after graduation, pushing PAUSE on any dream for a career}, the prospects of throwing together an itemized, impressive, bullet-pointed collection of what I'd been doing the last 6 years that would somehow convince a corporate leader to let me take part in their success was somewhat laughable.

That being said, a resume had to be turned in. So I got to working on it and before you know it, the check I was writing out for the 15 hours a week my babysitter was putting in, read as "managing a household staff." The credit card that I was swiping a couple times a week at Ralph's (the local grocery store), in addition to a swipe here and there at Nordstroms every month- all this swiping quickly qualified for "balancing and managing a specific budget." Are you starting to get the picture of where we're going with this? Before I knew it, I had a big ole long list that even I was impressed with. All my "responsibilities"were  consolidated in one big 8x11 inch piece of paper, and by golly I was writing a box and checking off every last one of those things. Y'all I'm chalking that up as success.

Now before we get distracted by the notion of whether I was over selling or underselling myself-- the mystery still remains-- that's not really what this little writing has anything to do with. It was crazy that when being forced to conjure up an itemized skill set, I did it. I put something together that sold even me on what an amazing person I was and all the crap I was getting done. Like I already said, jury is still out on the authenticity of the resume.   
But what I've really been wanting to write about is a different kind of resume- one of listening to that little voice that helps me make good decisions. After15 years of experience in the field (I was a late bloomer), I actually feel like I have a strong resume. As we've been getting ready for this move over the past 9 months, I feel like I've been relying on the lessons that have some from the individual bullet points of the resume that I've spent years building. 
I remember being 18 years old, graduated from high school with no plans. I hadn't applied to a single college. I hadn't set up any apprenticeship that would prepare me for a career. I was merely floating. Fortunately it didn't take me long to realize on my own that I wasn't headed in the direction I wanted to go. I was in the midst of solving a lot of internal, personal conflicts during this time, of realizing that choices I was making were acting as barriers to where I ultimately wanted to end up. It was a painful process reconciling habits to put me on my desired path. It required me to do things that I wasn't certain about, and even less happy about. Yet, I knew it was for a better good. One of those specific decisions was that of going to Ricks College, i.e.: BYU-I. I felt in my heart that was definitely the right thing for me to do. But can we take a short break to talk about Rexburg, ID? What's the opposite of "happening"? Well, that's what Rexburg, ID is. It's a small town in the middle of nowhere and operates at a very slow pace. For those of you who know me, you know I need a little something going on in my life. This kind of stillness makes me lonely.  So upon receiving my unexpected acceptance letter to Ricks college which solidified my intuition that it was the right choice for me at that time of my life, rather than jumping for joy and doing fist pumps with family, I opened that envelope behind the closed doors of our office, where the silent tears that rolled down my cheeks went unnoticed to anyone else. 
The merge of doing what I knew I should do versus doing merely what I wanted to do wasn't a painless process. Yet, I went and I did and I learned and I moved on.
My next very vivid memory of following that little voice came when I decided to serve an 18 month mission for our Church. I was still new to making good decisions and I think God was quite aware of my abilities {perhaps better put would be my inabilities..} and catered to those, giving me every opportunity to thrive and take the fullest path possible for my life. That's why I believe I had such a strong and unmistakable feeling when I decided to serve a mission. Anything weaker and I would've instantly talked myself out of a mission and chocked it up to a crazy idea and nothing else. That out was never an option because I absolutely couldn't deny what I had felt and, therefore, what I needed to do.
It turns out my mission was an experience that served as such a solid foundation in projecting me on the path of becoming that person I wanted to be.  
It seemed like up until this point, I was always shocked and somewhat disappointed when I got these notions for moves I needed to take on my path. It hurt and I somewhat fought it before following it. I was learning to trust God and that still wasn't second nature to me. 
But I was getting not only stronger in my resolve to follow that voice, but I also could reflect on the previous experiences and see that they made sense. It built my faith that I was really being looked after and that those decisions were really for my own good and my own happiness.

But the whole being disappointed with the path I was being asked to take, it wasn't to always remain that way. God threw me a bone. In March of 2005, Yosh and I had been married for a bit, I was 7 months pregnant with Dallin B, we were fixing to graduate and looking to move onto careers. I had stomached the proposals and played the role of supportive wife when Yosh was thinking about jobs in Virginia and Oakland. But make no mistake that I was faking. I was not excited, those wouldn't have ever been my choice. So please take a minute to imagine my absolute, unaltered, sheer delight when Yosh received a call to let him know he had got The Job. Where he would work in Beverly Hills, CA. 90210 y'all! Home of Brandon, Brenda, and the gang. There was no faking, role playing, or anything else-- I was excited! Now it's important to note, the calm feeling that came over when this job opportunity arose and as it progressed to a real possibility. The excitement wasn't simply based on the associated zip code!

When Yosh and I moved to California just over 8 years ago, it didn't take long for me to come up with my tag line, "If Yosh ever tries to make me leave California, he'll have to drag me out while I'm kicking and screaming." That line eventually evolved to, "If Yosh ever wants to leave California, he'll have to get another wife. I'm staying here."

Although we didn't end up living in Beverly Hills, but rather Sherman Oaks and Pacific Palisades, we have loved our time here- hence the declaration that I'd leave kicking and screaming.  

So you can imagine my surprise at my own reaction when I got a call last November from Yosh, just throwing out the idea of maybe moving to Austin. Like the smart man he is, he was treating the subject with much sensitivity, asking if I wanted to, saying that he doubted I would say yes and that was totally ok. My response was, "Yea, I think we could do that. I'd be down to move for a couple years." Yes, I was shocked at my own, immediate gut reaction to the proposal. There was no kicking and screaming, and there was no mentioning of the D word, and I don't mean Dallas.

The peace that settled in right when he posed the question was all the convincing I needed.

I think all these years later, with all this experience under my belt, I'm learning to trust. To remove my own  doubt, judgement and fear, and simply trust. And more importantly, I'm learning to not run interference. There's a song or scripture that says, "Be still my soul, the Lord is on our side," or something like that. And while there's no denying that my soul ain't always all that still, I'm not going anywhere. I'm sticking around, doing my part, and enjoying the fact that I know the Lord is on my side and continues to show me the path to my own personal, optimal happiness time and time again. This is why I can't run interference.

So here we are, getting ready to take off on this new "adventure" as we like to call this move. {No, it's not a complete uprooting, no we're not really leaving the Palisades. Huh uh. We prefer the more softer, tender, more subtle LIE of minimizing what we got going on to an adventure! Might as well be a week vacation in Costa Rica!} We're saying the good-byes to some of our favorite people, putting brave smiles on our faces to hide the underlying sadness, and we're moving forward.

All this said, this better be good, God, or else there will be hell to pay!

New Digs

First item of business:

it's tempting to apologize for so many pictures, but I'll refrain from doing that.

One day I'm going to love looking back on all these.

Ok, so remember when I told you I was planning a last minute trip to Austin to find a house?

Oh wait, that was only like 5 days ago.

Anyway, I did it, I went.

Thursday I (and by I, I obviously mean Christy and I...) landed at 1 pm.

We had just enough time to grab some hometown Texas BBQ before meeting with our real estate agent at 2:30.

I believe it was the third house on the tour (of 50 houses. I kid, I kid...kind of) and I instantly fell in love.

Now, mind you, falling in love doesn't mean it's always the one.

I knew we wanted to make an offer on the home but didn't know if it would be the lone house in that category.

I was going to find a home come hell or high water so I was prepped to make offers on multiple houses.

I was in business mode for sure!

We put together an offer late Thursday night and sent it off at the crack of dawn Friday morning.

And despite the time change hitting up downtown, riding a big ole teeter totter in some bar, busting a few moves with a couple random 20 year old, and listening to a few comedians at "The Velveeta", before a cute little bike taxi pedaled us back to our hotel at 1 am-ish, we were up and at em looking at homes again at 9 am. 

Make no mistake this was a work trip.

We saw many more homes Friday morning, some that would have been suitable back ups, but definite back ups still the same.

We stopped for lunch at Rudy's BBQ and it was starting to feel like deja vu.

Because exactly 24 hours earlier, Christy and I were sitting at Rudy's enjoying the same meat, creamed corn and potato salad.

But 24 hours ago on Rudy's trip #1 I had yet to meet my dream home.

But here on Rudy's trip #2, we got the phone call that they'd accepted our offer!

Boom time, just like that.

No negotiating, back and forth, fighting over mere percentages, they just said yes!

Much like the high emotions that follow popping the big question-

She said yes!

And we were thrilled.

Like meaning from ear to ear.

From there we went and spent an hour and a half at our new home.

Which I now present to you:

front yard view

from the street. Look how far off the street it is!

Dining Room. You can see the front door right there by the stairs.

Family Room.
These beams are what made me want to see the house.
Little did I know I'd fall in love with the rest of the house as quickly as I fell in love with the beams.

Family room from the kitchen looking in.

kitchen

Formal living room. Can see one side of the front doors.
And can we talk about the cat walk looking hallways?!!!
Love it- seriously one of the highlights of the house for me.
Hallway leads to all three upstairs bedrooms.

Couch faces outside patio.

Master bedroom.

It has a fireplace!

guest bedroom. love the paint color. think i'm going to go with the white scheme as well.

middle bedroom upstairs

1st upstairs bedroom

3rd upstairs bedroom

jack and jill bath bw middle and 3rd bedroom

home is like a horseshoe shape around the pool.
to the left left is the guest room, where chimney is is family room, master bed is to the right

patio area.
and please take note of the stringed lights!
pure love!
it's the little things!

putting green

Sports court

open grass area.
note tree house.
and don't you worry, there's a zipline that starts at the tree house and ends in one of the trees.
Yes, Christy did it and bailed halfway because she was cruising.
With a capital C.
Please tell me ww won't have any broken bones or bodies.....

There she is!

In love!