Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Why You Should Never Get High

Are we ready to chat about August a bit? 
Well, of course we are because August is the goods!

So the long awaited time had come....I was coming face-to-face with a therapist.
No office needed. We were pulling up two seats to the little side table at Whole Foods, home of goodness and organic and purity- all yours for just three times the normal market price. My anxiety didn't stand a chance against all this positivity, this authenticity, right???
For real. I'm adding that to the equation because I kid you not, it wasn't 20 minutes into our session before Suzanne looked at my with piercing eyes and diagnosed the reason for my anxiety. And in my little therapist notebook I have written down,

"anxiety---> not totally accepting of purpose"

Upon arriving at this idea, can I tell you I could almost instantly feel the anxiety melting away.  I didn't have to believe her because she's a therapist-- no. I could feel for myself that truth was resonating.
And don't you worry, there was no digging necessary to know what this arbitrary 'purpose' was.
I already knew. For the previous 10ish months, I had gone through ownership and denial, acceptance and wanting to quit. But guess what would happen during those moments of wanting to give up? I couldn't. Something wouldn't let me.

So with Suzanne's diagnosis, coupled with my past months of experience, something happened that day....
I became a blogger-- a for real blogger.

Who cares that I was "working" for free? Or that my blog hadn't grown tons? The truth of the matter was I wanted writing to be a priority right up there with wifing and mothering. It was time to stop fighting myself,  stop creating arguments all in a subconscious, crazy attempt to scare passion. Y'alls, I love love love to write. It was time to be a blogger, baby!

Check this out, post session...I even started introducing myself as a blogger! To complete strangers of course! "My name is Gay. No, I'm not gay. I'm a stay-at-home mom and a blogger." But it doesn't stop there. That wasn't the only thing I did. I called Yosh and told him to buy me a ticket... Alt Summit.

Where for real for real bloggers go. Not for real wannabe bloggers.
What was I thinking?!!! See what being high does to you?!! 
D.A.R.E. for life.
I even won the essay contest and gave the speech at our 5th grade D.A.R.E. graduation.
I guess I've never been too good at listening to myself.
Anyways, I'm blaming the drug makes you do crazy things.

That being said...I'm going. I haven't been able to talk myself out of it despite the nerves and feeling of being out of my league. And in cahoots with my fake it til you make it attitude I've been working on, I got a great piece of advice that has given me all kinds of false confidence and a game plan..... 

Just be yourself....
                 ....times a thousand.

Y'all, I can do that! We're gonna take this above me {^} and work with it! If there's one thing I am, it's myself. Never been good at faking. So I'm armed and ready to go. I'm trading those flats in for some heels that bring me to a solid 6"5, bordering Amazon woman status. I'm gonna throw on some loud accent pieces and possibly even bright red lipstick I might take the polka dot theme up a thousand notches and do a body tattoo. Who knows how far we will take it. And when you hear a girl talking like she was raised in the deep alleys of the ghetto,
don't be alarmed.
It's just me. 
Times a thousand.

And if that fails, in other words, if I fail myself, we gots one last safety net....

I double dare you to tell me you didn't just do a literal LOL. 
Cuz that's some funny stuff right there!
Aint that the truth, tho? Haters gonna hate and there's nothing I can do about that.
So there we go, there's my game plan. 
T- 1 week.
Wish this sister luck!

And while we're on the subject of T- 1 week,
guess what else falls into that category???!
Get excited.......
It's A Girl Named Gay's first link up party!
Yea, baby!
I'm hookin up with my girl, Erin, over at InLivingColor Living in Yellow, who is awesome and amazing and you need to read if you don't already.
Theme of the link up party: 
"If I were a Boy....." 
This could get funny!
So start thinking about your rants and come join the party....
it's going to be huge!
And by huge, I mean I'll be lucky to get two other people joining in with me, so....
be one of those lucky two people!
Hahahaha I crack myself up!
But for real, be there or be square.

{to inspire your mind, click here to read the one time I participated in a link up. I just re-read the post and was dying laughing....once again, at myself. Good stuff!}

1 comment:

Don't hate. Participate. Conversate.


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