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Recently I've felt the need to read The Alchemist again. I feel like those are strong words-- "felt the need"- for simply talking about a book but you have to understand, I describe The Alchemist as a life-changing book for me. And guess what? Via my perspective, I'm not exaggerating.
A year or so ago, I picked up the book that I had heard so much about. Not the story particularly, but the book. Mainly it was described to me as "an interesting read" or "I think you'd like it" or "it's just this little story but it's good". All of which are true, but this interesting little story I did in deed like, changed me.
So sitting at a somewhat stagnant point in my journey with a lot of questions and a lack of personal clarity, I've been wanting to read the book that brought peace and deliberate action into my life.
Round 2, want to know how far I've gotten? Through the introduction. But now might be a good time to pause and say the introduction might be my absolute favorite part of the book. It's not a fable or allegory with interpretation left up to the reader. It's concise, words are not minced, it's straightforward and nothing short of inspiring and personal.
In fact, it starts out talking about our own personal calling, a calling from God. And does this ever resonate with me. I feel like this is a thought I'm constantly running circles around. This reading I've been inspired to do something different about the age-old thought-- I've been praying, asking God to help me see more clearly what that personal calling for me looks like. Obviously I have some ideas since it's clear that this purpose is from within and has always been in our hearts but clarity isn't my strong suit.
As I kept reading about the obstacles that stop us from achieving/chasing that personal calling, specific goals and dreams came to mind, each of which I'm at varying points of pursuit.
1) running at 8 min/mile half marathon
(completely on hold, and maybe even forgotten or dismissed, until reading this)
2) being a mom
(have dreamed of this since a little girl. and while I know and remember that, my dreams are lacking detail. I want to add color to the sketch and have it be a more satisfying realization of my dreams)
3) be a teacher
(have the opportunity to teach seminary now. how am I pursuing the dream of being an excellent teacher?)
These bullet points alone have brought so much hope and purpose to my journey in these last few days. I have to figure out how to keep them on the front burner and keep them as a motivator. One thing I knew I had to do was start journaling about them and get the ideas edited and solidified to a tangible place. Check mark on that now!
(PS I finally just bought the audio book version of The Alchemist and have LOVED listening to it in the background of whatever I'm doing. But can I already point out the HUGEST let down??? The intro isn't part of the audio version:(( )
My current read is The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho. Man, is this a gem of a book! I'm totally pulling an AJ and taking notes as I go. But the quotes are too good and have too much potential to enrich my life so, you know…
Anyway, in this novel, the boy learns about omens {possibly defined as small signs or acts to let one know they are on the right path?} While this isn't a completely new idea to me, the way in which the idea was presented and articulated allowed for me to grasp a deeper understanding. With this richer understanding, I've been much more aware of the omens directing my journey.
I've said it a million times before, I anticipated the stage of bearing kids and motherhood my whole life. My goodness, a newborn baby is what my dreams have always been made of. And I have taken care of my four with a lot of joy. I consciously had a goal and priority of enjoying that time, of accepting the gift of my dream coming true, and I think I did a pretty good job of achieving it- I enjoyed those babies.
And then we made the decision to close shop. It was a decision I always dreaded having to make, the definite nature of closing a chapter that had been my most anxiously-awaited one.
Recently, the past 6 months, I have flirted with the idea of having a couple more babies. (After Kaia turned 3, I knew that if I were ever to have another baby, that I would want two more.) Mothering has gotten so less hands on over the last two years, I can tangibly see and feel these dang kids growing up right before my eyes, and the perspective has made the prospect of doing it again oh so tempting. Not to mention, a couple of friends and my sister are having another baby and I am shocked how I long to be in that "group" with them.
The other night I had a dream. I was pregnant with my fifth child, a thought I had allowed many a times into my daydreaming while completely conscious. But we all know a night dream while in an unconscious state is so different from a somewhat directed daydream. And this was the first time pregnancy number 5 had entered nighttime dreaming.
The dream was vivid, the details were vivid, and the feeling was vivid. I woke up the next morning very aware of the overwhelming feeling and knew that it was my omen.
I was soooo sad in my dream to be pregnant.
Shop is officially officially closed.
Maktub.
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