Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The funny thing about fear

7 year olds feel very safe playing baseball with other 7 year olds. Maybe even mix in a few 8 years old and they're still in their comfort zone. But ask a 7 year old to play with the big dogs- the 8 to 10 year old league- and fear enters the equation. Dallin and a few of his teammates did just that this past week; played up a level. B did good. 
An outsider would have never known just how scared he really was.

I could see it, feel it – and it made me wonder –‘what do I fear in my latest undertaking of being more honest?'

That revisiting and then sharing how crappy I treated those around me back in the days will destroy the years of character-building since?
That you'll realize what an idiot I was? {because make no mistake, I was an idiot!}
That admitting I had a high school "boyfriend" that I let treat me like shit for three years will give you permission to do the same?
That my old habit of running away will make you think I'm on the verge of running? Even I sometimes wonder whether or not it is true.
That you won't allow me to be a changed person, that you'll be skeptical of today's me?

At Saturday's game, Dallin stood at home plate--
eye on the pitcher's mound, knees bent, confidently waiting.
There was the wind up and then the release ended with
a wild pitch that took him down.  The stray ball to the head sounded like a 'crack!' loud enough to break a windshield.
The crowd fell silent, Dallin B fell to the ground, writhing in pain.
Or more likely shock.
His worst fear had come true.
He had stated on multiple occasions that he was so afraid he was going to get hit in the head since it was a kid pitching and not a machine.
That fear was alive in every mention of these ball games.
And guess what?
There wasn't much to be afraid of.
The helmet protected him.
After a minute, he got up and ran to first base unscathed.
It took his worst fear coming to pass to learn...
that the fear didn't have much validity.


  1. Sounds like we're in for some good story telling. I can't wait to hear all about it. Knowing you now, it would be awesome to know more about the times that made you who you are.

  2. Such a great reminder! I love that our kids teach us more about ourselves & life than we could ever learn from anyone/ anything else.


Don't hate. Participate. Conversate.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...