Primal Instinct in the Face of Death

In just sitting here on the airplane, fresh dressed like a million bucks in my neon pants and my own white chucks.
And while it's tempting to sit here and talk about how much I love my neon pants-- because I am infatuated, it's true-- I'm not going to do that. Instead I'm going to talk about this shirt that allows me the femininity of lace and also the comfortability of a sweatshirt. Freaking win win. Thank you, Annie Kimball, for being awesome. And ps, I'm actually not going to talk about that either.

What I am going to talk about is dying. Because about 5 minutes ago I thought I was plunging to my death. And it's not often that you can say that and mean it in a literal sense. But this time, I mean it completely literally. This airplane is dipping and diving so much that I'm contemplating buying my seat neighbor- who also happens to be my BFF- a shot to calm her nerves. Often we ask ourselves,"How would I react in the face of death?" After experiencing the first dip where there was no question in our minds that the plane had most definitely taken a sudden nose dive at the approximate speed of Superman mph, we instinctively knew we were facing death and primal instincts took over. While I have no idea what I did, I I can tell you how Christy reacts in the face of death-- she goes straight to intimacy. I nearly got my crotch grabbed. Just a one handed grab. {Meanwhile the kids- Dallin, Porter, and Avani- didn't skip a beat on their iPads and Chander didn't even open his slumbering eyes.}

The calm after the storm. Not sure I believe the calm...

Now the good news for all of us {except those of you that have a death contract out on me} is that I survived. We survived. American Airline Flight don't-have-a-clue survived. Come to find out that momentary roller coaster ride that had my stomach fall to the ground-- you know the feeling, where there is a very tangible delay in your stomach completing the upside down loopy loo after the rest of your body-- was just "turbulence".
Why is it that our minds, without even a moments notice, assume worse case scenario? It's crazy. Maybe it's to create a sense of relativity and all of a sudden, whatever the actual reality is...no longer seems all that bad. And all of a sudden, all this bouncing up and down doesn't seem so bad. Because we're actually not dying. Unless we are and this whole relativity check was just a cruel case of reverse psychology. In which case, these were my dying words. In which case, instead of only talking about Snoop Dogg and Christy's crotch grabbing,  I better add that I love Yosh and my kids. And Deeter and Kaia, I'm really sorry I didn't bring you with me. It was a heart wrenching decision, I truly felt bad. But now I guess I don't? Because I saved their lives? Whatever, this is getting weird and complicated.
Peace and Chicken Grease. Even lamer last words.