Monday, March 25, 2013

Primal Instinct in the Face of Death

In just sitting here on the airplane,
fresh dressed like a million bucks
in my neon pants and my own white chucks.

And while it's tempting to sit here and talk about how much I love my neon pants-- because I am infatuated, it's true-- I'm not going to do that.
Instead I'm going to talk about this shirt that allows me the femininity of lace and also the comfortability of a sweatshirt. Freaking win win.
Thank you, Annie Kimball, for being awesome.
And ps, I'm actually not going to talk about that either.

What I am going to talk about is dying.
Because about 5 minutes ago I thought I was plunging to my death.
And it's not often that you can say that and mean it in a literal sense.
But this time, I mean it completely literally.
This airplane is dipping and diving so much that I'm contemplating buying my seat neighbor- who also happens to be my BFF- a shot to calm her nerves.
Often we ask ourselves,"How would I react in the face of death?"
After experiencing the first dip where there was no question in our minds that the plane had most definitely taken a sudden nose dive at the approximate speed of Superman mph, we instinctively knew we were facing death and primal instincts took over.
While I have no idea what I did, I
I can tell you how Christy reacts in the face of death--
she goes straight to intimacy.
I nearly got my crotch grabbed.
Just a one handed grab.
{Meanwhile the kids- Dallin, Porter, and Avani- didn't skip a beat on their iPads and Chander didn't even open his slumbering eyes.}
The calm after the storm. Not sure I believe the calm...

Now the good news for all of us {except those of you that have a death contract out on me} is that I survived. We survived. American Airline Flight don't-have-a-clue survived.
Come to find out that momentary roller coaster ride that had my stomach fall to the ground-- you know the feeling, where there is a very tangible delay in your stomach completing the upside down loopy loo after the rest of your body-- was just "turbulence".

Why is it that our minds, without even a moments notice, assume worse case scenario?
It's crazy.
Maybe it's to create a sense of relativity and all of a sudden, whatever the actual reality longer seems all that bad.
And all of a sudden, all this bouncing up and down doesn't seem so bad.
Because we're actually not dying.
Unless we are and this whole relativity check was just a cruel case of reverse psychology.
In which case, these were my dying words.
In which case, instead of only talking about Snoop Dogg and Christy's crotch grabbing, 
I better add that I love Yosh and my kids.
And Deeter and Kaia, I'm really sorry I didn't bring you with me. It was a heart wrenching decision, I truly felt bad.
But now I guess I don't? Because I saved their lives?
Whatever, this is getting weird and complicated.

Peace and Chicken Grease.
Even lamer last words.


  1. lol i love everything about your blog. the words are great. hahah peace and chicken grease to you as well, my friend. love the blog girl, can't wait to read more. :)

    love, rach.

  2. Hot mama! Loving your outfit! Hope Texas is going


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