A big congratulations to me- I've unofficially adopted a second home. And it should come as no surprise at all that this home's perimeters are lined with an array of eateries and the focal point is nothing less than a kids' play area.
Some people like to call this a child's paradise.
Me? I am more of the persuasion that it's a parent's paradise.
I mean, honestly, I'm like, "You all go and play, Dallin you're in charge. I'll be buried under this plate of food, a grande Diet Coke, and my phone if you need me. But seriously try not to need me unless you reaalllllly need me." And by reaallllly need me, I mean unless they're profusely bleeding or getting chased by someone twice their size. Or being stalked by the creepy, weirdo kind. I got their back for any of these three cases.
And they actually obey...those children just go and play to their heart's content.
Meanwhile I'm somehow blissfully enjoying a meal, popping in quickly on the social media scene, and all the while feel like I'm doing the kids a big ole favor by providing this awesome entertainment. False confidence at it's finest.
Are you feeling the win-win in this situation?
Which is why we've become quite comfortable at SaMo's Clubhouse. Quite comfortable as in like 3 or 4 times a week. The kids know the drill: walk on over, shoes in the cubby, get your play on, get off the 'prohibited areas' when the guard looking guy with a badge on comes over.
As part of a self-appointed adoptive owner of this joint, I'll be looking out for the best interest of it. And let me tell you what is not in the best interest of this Clubhouse. That would be having the crazies on the loose. Crazies mixed with kids equal no bueno.
So you can imagine that my attention was yanked immediately from Instagram watching my kids when I hear chaos ensuing. Sure enough, inside the play area I see what appears to be a furious two-year-old trapped inside the body of a grown man. And what was he doing? What two-year-olds do best....throwing a tantrum. This tantrum came off in the form of full-on yelling and kicking the side of the slide. Like, as hard as he could.
Now even a dummy only needs about 2.2 to identify this as inappropriate behavior. But there's something about an adult man with sagging pants and long hair pulled back in a pony-tail that have me looking for a table to hide under rather than taking a stand against inappropriate. Thankfully, some people have more courage than me, as was the case with the nicely-dressed business man standing in the corner. Not to judge, but totally judging, this man looked as though be possessed class and courtesy...and that he would get his a.s.s. TKO'd if the Crazy took even one swing, which seemed to be a total possibility.
But he was no coward and called this child-like man out on his crap. And do you want to know what this crazed man had to say? What his excuse for this embarrassingly two-year-old like behavior was?
.....that his daughter hit herself in the face.
"WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?" yelled the obviously logical, rational adult.
Well, I for one, certainly didn't expect him to throw a fit, kick furniture, and scare all the kids around because his daughter hit herself in the face.
Who knows, maybe I'm the crazy one. Wouldn't be the first time.
Hopefully homeboy is too humiliated to ever show his face there again and I can finally come out from under the table and resume my eating/drinking/social media-ing and remind my kids to always stand up for what's right....no matter how intimidating the other side might seem. After all, I gots to feel safe in my home away from home.
Are you all as shocked as me? Or have you seen a lot of adults act completely childish and crazy?
In other news, the big winner was selected for the clutch. Wait....cluthES!
And that winner is...
Givebacks are such a fun way for me to thank you all for supporting me. I haven't quite figured out exactly why I love blogging, but....I love blogging! And more than half the fun is having someone to read my writings.
So, genuinely, a big thank you to all of you for being that someone!