I arrived at Yosh's office, the boys and I hung out while he finished up working. I put a smile on my face, which to be honest, wasn't a fake one. I was just acting according to how I felt and how I felt was fine. Like, I felt just fine. Completely content. The fear had left, the uncertainty had subsided, the urgency to act had disappeared. I can't help but wonder if Yosh thought he might be dealing with Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde at this point.
We returned back home as a family to find our home just as we had left it. No graffiti marked our walls. The locked door was intact. No crime scene was closed off in the infamous yellow tape. Everything was exactly the same. Minus the creepy feeling. Probably had everything to do with me having my protector with me. We did some voodoo magic, i.e.: mad praying, escorting those bad spirits out of our house and my body. I knew I had to put on my big girl's and find an answer within myself because the truth of the matter was this- Yosh wasn't going to quit his job and so,regardless of our living circumstances, I was going to be rolling solo from 4:30 am and on. I had to learn how to deal with being alone, in the dark, at eerie hours.
That night ended up being a turning point. I stopped being plagued by "episodes". I'd love to take credit for being the reason for this change- my decision to buck up and start being mentally stronger, but I'm not sure that's the truth. Something bad had left our house, buoying up my new committed mentality.
Fast forward a year later. Like almost exactly a year later.
Monday morning, I woke up, got the kids ready, hit the gym, came home, showered, and went to put on my wedding ring. It wasn't in it's home base, nor was it on the cabinet where I remembered putting it when I was making cookies the day before. And once again, schizophrenia entered my life. Everywhere I turned I was sure that little diamond was just going to pop up and appear. But the sparkles were mirages and the ring wasn't surfacing. Tuesday I still couldn't find it anywhere. Wednesday I went to grab our tennis rackets out of the closet when I noticed…..our plastic storage drawers weren't there. My mind got to retracing and I thought that maybe, just maybe, I had taken them out to the garage? I was always looking to conserve space in our little cardboard box size dwelling.I was going to run out and check the garage so I went to grab the garage door opener- that religiously hung on the keys hook right by the front door- but...
it wasn't there.
That was weird. Real weird. I called Yosh in case he had for some reason taken the opener with him??? Never had before, but you never know. He said he actually thought he had seen it in his car, that he would run down and see. That would solve the case of the missing garage door opener, which hopefully would reveal the storage drawers that housed the X Box and a few other things. We would just be down to locating my precious jewel. The one that Yosh nervously presented to me, while on one knee, at the golfing range of Hobble Creek. The one that represented me saying yes and committing to him and the entity of marriage. I needed to find it.
I left for the orthodontist, still mystified and feeling a little unsettled, when my phone rang. I picked it up to see Yosh's name on the screen. I answered to hear his confused confession….
"Gay, it's not in my car."
I don't remember the rest of that conversation. Instead, my memory somehow jumps to my next conversation. I was on the phone with Anneli. I remember physically shaking, and that trembling transcending to my voice as I told her, "Anneli….I think we've been robbed…."