Monday, September 3, 2012

Intervention: Detox was the easy part

I don't think I've ever been happier about getting ditched than this last weekend.
Yosh Train had plans of his own- which didn't include me- and was out the door....
with all THREE boys.
For three and a half days.
I can't say I was complaining.
What I can say is the sis and I spent our mornings walking around town, grabbing food on the run.  We laughed and chatted {and possibly she screamed} and got along like old girlfriends. I ditched her during nap time and got in some mad tennis and alone time. We swam, we went to meet FAMILY moving into state. Yes, you heard me correctly! My biggest dream finally came true. 

And in all this gallivanting and laughing and having fun....I recognized my calling in life.

I was meant to be a one-child mama. I mean, what can I say...
I'm AWESOME at it!

{Kinda wish someone would have told me that three babies ago!}
the Venice Canals

Breakfast at M Street
A fun dinner out....before it got embarrassing when I realized I didn't have my wallet...

The Marie dancing to the street entertainers on the Promenade

beautiful sunset

Yosh called me Friday, a short 24 hours after he left and guess what he told me?
"I miss you guys."
And he was for real! I could feel it in his words.
Granted, before I let my heart skip a beat I had to ask for clarification that he really missed us and not just...her. Oh that Yosh Train needs his Kaia girl. But further investigation confirmed that he did also miss me.
My reply to his confession....
"I love being missed."
Because I do.
And equally, I love missing.
But truth be told, I wasn't there yet. 
I wasn't missing a soul.
I was detoxing.

Just like I'll be doing the every-now-and-then Diet Coke detox. And do you know what always happens with that? The first day is super hard, the next- not so much, the next- I realize that it does nothing good for my body and I'm so glad to have my body cleansed and my eyes opened to the TRUTH...that it's poison! 
Well, it's kinda weird to me that while doing the family detox thing, I felt....

Like, was loving my diluted responsibilities, was loving the ease of life, was thinking I should've just had one kid {ok, just laugh at that one already!}, was not wanting anyone to come back home, wasn't feeling a single separation pang.

And after a day or two of having those {non}feelings, let me tell you what happens. A seductive little bully slips in and starts taunting me that maybe I'm not mom enough, that my love is not strong enough, that something is the matter with ME! That if I'm not missing folks, I am HEARTLESS.
Nice try, nice try, sneaky bully. But....not the case.

It's just with the time of life I'm in, with all the ebbs and flows of life as the saying goes, 
I'll tell you what, I feel like there's a lot of flowing and not much ebbing.
So when the ebbing comes....
holy mamma jamma,
it's refreshing.

 I'm not gonna waste any time complaining.
Or thinking I'm not mom enough.

And anyway, just in the knick of time,
at 6:32 pm on Saturday night, less than 24 hours before I was destined to be reunited, while driving home listening to some good country music, I started getting those little heart throbs. Where I felt the hole, the emptiness that can only be filled by those boys I have in my life, all four of them.
I was ready for them to come back.

The detox was over, and unlike Diet Coke, after a couple days, instead of being ready to call it quits for good, I'm ready to have them back in my life for good. 

  And just like Diet Coke, despite the renewed commitment to be a DC-er for life....
it won't be long before it's time to detox again!

{ps reminder: read here and then send me a pic straight from your heart. or phone. or camera.}

stalk AGNG:


  1. Um... did I not just leave my barely two month old for a few days while the hubs and I went on vacation? I kept thinking, I'm so terrible & I should be feeling worse than I do... but do you know what, I don't feel one bit guilty! They were in heaven with Grandma & most importantly It makes me a better mom to have a break every now & again. It's good to miss them!

    Let me know next time you need a detox & lets go book a hotel somewhere on the beach for a night. For reals!

    Glad you had a great weekend with sweet Kaia!

  2. I would kill for a day without the kid and husband and if that makes me less of a mom - I'll take it!

  3. My hubby and I let his mom take our girls for days at a time and do I feel guilty? No. Well, maybe a little bit sometimes (I feel guilty for not feeling guilty). Do I miss them? After 2 or 3 days...but I will readily admit that I LOVE the break! It makes me a better mom by having breaks sometimes. I fully believe that. :-) You are NOT alone! Oh, and when my MIL had my youngest for almost a week recently...I had the same thoughts about being a mom of one. I wouldn't change a thing, really (we're even trying for # 3), but it is just so EASY with one! Lol

    1. I love it...feeling guilty for not feeling guilty! I almost gave in to that same temptation! So glad you have family around to help you out and give you a little free time!

  4. If you feel guilty 4 kids later for having some alone time with your only gal-pal Kaia then you need to have some detox time more often! I'm thinking a need a detox at least (MINIMUM) 4x's a year and I only have one kid -- the main thing holding me back is the lack of family around. BUUUUUUTTTT there is a little something called a husband who I'd be happy to give the opportunity to spend a day or two in my shoes. SO, u grab the DC and I'll pick up the chocolate and let's have another detox... U with me?

    1. At least 4x a year for at least 3 days each time. So I'm just sad that you're only a mother of one. When's that baby girl coming out?! You name the place, and I'll meet ya for a get-away!

  5. Love the girls only stay-cation! Sometimes I think I could detox several times a month! Take it when you can and enjoy it for what it is. Such a great experience for everyone!

  6. I hope your sons never read this. Even if you feel that way, it's awful to see how Kaia is your favorite child and some things should stay in your head. The internet never forgets, and your sons won't understand the things you write to explain why you love your daughter "differently". Your feelings are legit and I don't think it's a bad thing to love each child in a different way but honestly, it's too much to write about it


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