Friday, May 11, 2012

Magnet


Happy Birthday to my first little baby.


I remember the first weeks of my little Dallin B's life. In my eyes, he was the perfect most beautiful baby. I would often look at that sweet little sir that I had been dreaming of since I was probably 3 years old, and have to remind myself, "This is your baby. This is who was in your belly the last 9 months." Contrary to my expectations that this feeling would be as deep-rooted as my own heart, there wasn't an immediate intellectual connection. It was a learned one. I often consciously reminded myself, "This is your son. You are his mom." As I threw my days, my energy, and my heart into caring for my baby, that disconnect evaporated. We belonged together.

Dallin has always been a pretty easy going, charismatic guy. Thus far we haven't had too much to worry about. He's good at sports, he gets along with everyone, he's helpful, he does his homework without complaining, etc etc.  His brothers' "normalcy" have highlighted his easiness.
supposedly that's a 7 Dallin's holding up!
A while ago I realized a little bit of a disconnect in the way I felt about Dallin. Kinda similar to the one when he was born. And I knew why. I had thrown so much time, energy, and worry into figuring out his brother, which created an absolute commitment and connection to him. Since Dallin had graduated from being a toddler and no longer required such hands-on caring, and additionally was so emotionally, socially, physically stable...I wasn't pouring  my heart into him like I used to.

That disconnect has again evaporated. Not because he has demanded attention and worry or anything else. Simply because I moved connecting with him to the top of the totem pole. I'm just very thankful I have him so strongly back in my heart. He's the perfect start to our little family and today we're full-on celebrating Dallin B!


{a few recent tid-bits from Dallin}

   

to read about his birth, click here! To get even more context, click here!

3 comments:

  1. Oh happy happy birthday dallin B!!! My first nephew ever and I still remember picking up Yosh and flying down to Provo. Love you Dallin B!

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  2. Ahh the sweetest. I love the "all about Mom" papers. SO fun! He really is the sweetest kid...you've done well momma. Happy Birthday Dallin B...please don't tell me you're really 7?! Time is FLYING.
    xo

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  3. I can relate to that...chase also is my easy going independent kid and sometimes I feel bad devoting so much time to my neediest child that I think I miss connecting with chase. I just try to find those moments we can spend together and fit in some good one on one time. Can't believe dallin is 7! He is a good one

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