Monday, May 21, 2012

Lets Talk about stress BA-BY

Ya'll where the HECK is the balance?!!

I don't know. I do not have it right now but.... hold onto your britches cuz I'm going to find it!

I'll tell you what, I feel like life went from manageable and good to I think I'm drowning? but I'm not sure? in 2.2. If you've been reading my blog the last little bit, you're probably not surprised to hear this. In fact you were probably aware of it before even I was!

What happened?!!

We live the "fast-paced" LA life. Yosh works 13ish-hour days and they only seem to be getting longer instead of shorter. I have 4 kids who are all busy in their own unique ways- whether it's activities, school, or naps that demand a pretty rigid schedule. We're busy. {But who's not? I'm not for a second playing the we're so much more busier than you card. That topic is a whole different post for a different day...#thosepeoplebug}

I've been running the same schedule for the past 8 months and have been doing just fine. I've actually liked the schedule. Now...NOW....I'm walking around like an edgy mess. One minute I'm all good playing little miss housewife baking cookies and helping a child with their homework and the next I have that same child's eyes on lock down, daring them to make a wrong move which will give me an excuse to lose ALL SELF-CONTROL and feel dang right justified in doing so. I WANT AN EXCUSE TO LOSE IT. Once it's flushed out of the system, I'm back to playing handball and cooking dinner. But I feel the venom making it's way back into my blood. I'm nervous of my own self, wondering what in the heck is gonna set me off.

I fully admit- things are not well. Things are not terrible. But...things are not well- like I said!

And I keep trying to retrace those few days where the pendulum got to swinging and went on ahead and just stopped......and stayed....way too high. This is the stress pendulum we're talking about. And there's not much I can pinpoint that put all the gusto in it. And that's what's kinda been tripping me up.

But there is one thing that's got to be a contributor.

Just like periods and girls, Yosh and I finally synced up.{Which, by the way, is one of the most fascinating topics of convo for our beloved Yosh train}

No, Yosh is not menstruating.

We're both simultaneously stressed to the max. Together. At the same time. You get it? This time around, we've completely been eluded by the balancing act that we've magically managed to obtain the last few years, always taking turns and liberally passing off the baton. But now now. We're both double-fisting it, white knuckles and all, clutching the stress.

And it sucks. And it's taking a toll on our fam.

But the good news is this...I'VE MATURED! I'm not waiting this thing out any longer. I'm already pro-actively making some changes to get our family back on track. Life is too short to not be happy.

Here's my grand plan:

~find a baby-sitter. like asap. and give her a regular schedule. with LOTS of hours! (live-in anyone?!!)
I started last week and it's been fabulous. I've been able to take the babies on walks while she helps the big boys or vise versa. I've been able to make dinner while she plays with the kids. I want someone to help share the responsibility a little. And I've been enjoying the little tasks again.

~give caffeine a break.
JIGGA WHAT?...I KNOW. I can't believe I'm writing this bc that means i have to actually do it. But my sis mentioned that might be causing some of the irritability. And her thought just echoed some of the feelings i've been having- that I don't know the effects it has on my body but it can't be all that good. So i'm gonna try it. Golly I must be desperate..... {5 days under my belt thus far}

~write down some specific rules for disciplining porter so that i don't have to think in the moment. and then i can discipline instead of punish. and leave the heavy emotion out of it.

Ok. So that's my list! Yes it's short. So what else do you got? What are some de-stressing tips? What is it that's stressing you out these days?


  1. I've been debating on writing a post of my very own on this very topic but I wanted to wait and see if I could add some destressing tips at the end. I don't have kids, my husband doesn't work 13(plus) a day but I think stress hits all of us in different ways. (You're super woman, ps)
    I've found that if I take 10 minutes (or so) to sit in a lawn chair outside, eyes closed, just letting the sun hit my face and feet, no disturbing me. All is good in the world. Ive also been drinking a lot more water and making lists. Don't forget that "me" time girlie, its even more necessary than you think.
    OH! don't hesitate to pat yourself on the back. If everyone is still alive, you're doing somethin right. :)

    1. Libby of course stress comes even without kids! That's the thing, all our lives and carry a bit of stress. The details don't really matter! I like the idea of sitting out in the sun- in a bikini. On a beach. With a cold beverage in hand. All in the name of de-stressing! Good luck on lowering yours as well!

  2. WOW, I think we live the same life. For reals. A few months back I got my mom to come in one day a week for just a few hours so I could run errands by myself or get a hair cut, a pedi, go to a dr appt etc. That has helped A LOT so I think the nanny gig you've got going on is going to make a huge difference. So is the rest of your plan. Life is really too short to be miserable and the kids grow so fast you don't want to hurry it along so everything we can do to make it special and manageable at the same time is worth it. OH SO WORTH IT! Just so you know and I'm sure you already do, you aren't alone. I might be in Colorado but I really think we are living parallel lives.

    1. Our lives are pretty parallel huh! I'm gla you're finding what works for you too! Sometimes I hate the thought that "icant do it all" but when I have help I think "why in the world would you want to do it all?!!"

      Keep truckin along!


  3. And this is why 1 hour and 45 minutes was NOT enough time for our meet n' greet today.... lol!

    I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, BUT I think this list is a great start Gay... I think sometimes we get so caught up in being super-moms and doing all the things we see other moms doing.... that at some point, we will all crumble... because it's impossible. Like Diana said- I bet most ladies are living parallel lives to exactly this... Being a mom is HARD... being a mom to multiple kids is HARDER... I don't know how you ladies do it! One is enough to make me crazy :)

    Maybe I won't have my manfriend call Yosh.... 13 hour days??? WOW!! You guys are amazing! Maybe you can add a date night to your list? ;) And yes, give yourself some credit like Libby said... you're doing great!! Look at the really wonderful things you are doing... and the wonderful home you and your husband are building for your family... ;) And look at the AMAZING things you are doing for other people... the service you are giving!

    SOOOOOO glad we met today Gay! Truly. I feel blessed :)


    1. Dang I shouldn't have said the 13 hours part!

      We do need to stay On top of date nights. We do decent but I would love it a bit more consistent.

      So glad we met today too! It was great to put a voice with all the words! Great things are to come!

  4. Oh Gay I am feeling ya right now!!!! Seriously I am pretty sure you took this out of my mouth ..... except I don't have the 4 kiddos and the 13 hour working hubs .... but lately I am pretty sure I have been a nightmare. Maybe it is all the hormones too, but being a Mom is TOUGH! I hope you know how much I ALWAYS look up to you as being a great Mom. Seriously I think your ideas have saved me in more ways then one! You really are one of the greatest little Mommas. I have come to realize that I constantly am adjusting to make sure I am happy and the kids are happy. I am so applauding you on getting the babysitter .... seriously mine is what saves me! I love ya and hope to see you this weekend!!!!!

    1. Jess don't pull your hair out! Haha! Your compliments are sweet. And being a mom is a hard job. An let's be honest, life would still be filled with stress- just different ones- if we weren't moms! Yosh and I are realizing you can run away from stress so we've got tO learn how to manage it! I'll email you pronto about this weekend! Can't wait!

  5. i can completely relate...i only have two but lately oh man...nobody push my buttons or mama's gonna loose it! i don't know what it is. way to go to get on it and try and figure out something that works for you! now, send any tips this way :)


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