Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Hormones: It's all the Rage

I don't know when the appropriate time to discuss birth control with your doctor is, but I chose to bring up the subject right then and there on the delivery bed. No less than 5 minutes after Kaia Marie made her debut. "So, when can I get my IUD put in?"

I know. A little quick. My doctor kinda laughed and said, "NOT NOW." Which I wouldn't have been opposed to getting it all out of the way at once. One and done!

Less than 3 months later, I accidentally paid full price (sick to my stomach for a LONG time about this) for that little dam. I went with the Mirena.

And let me tell you, it took some getting used to for my body to adjust to Mirena. It sucked the ambition right out of me at the beginning. Robbed me. I STRUGGLED to really get my day going. Even if it was to do something fun. I could only SLOWLY make myself get out the front door...to go to a party. Really? Not just to take the kids to school?!!

When most of my babies hit 8ish months, I go through a rough period. Kaia hit her 8 month mark and in rolled the fog. But this one was a thick, blinding, all-encompassing fog. I'm laughing thinking back about it- Yosh and I got into some little tiff. Like REAL little. Like I think I had to ask him twice to go help the kids with something. And that sent me over the edge. Not like screaming and yelling. Like I was crying on the couch and could barely move for the next 4 hours while Yosh was out golfing or something. Only to be repeated the next night over something equally ridiculous. Holy hell.

The good news was I had come to expect this and while I couldn't control it, I was very aware that it was hormones and that I was completely irrational. And so I continued with the waiting game. For THREE WEEKS. That's a long time to be feeling sad and going through the motions waiting for the sun to come out.

But the sun came out.  Kaia was then 9 months which meant my body had had 9 months to look for some balance again. I'd been done nursing for a bit. I'd had my IUD for almost 6 months. And my hormones kinda found their way back to a sorta normal. And I was on a high for a long time. Granted, I'd have my days. And those days I'd always threaten to yank Mirena out. But I'd accidentally paid $1200 for that thing so I felt IN DEBT to it. And kept saying I'd just give it a little more time.

It's been a rough couple of weeks again. Like most of my energy is used just to do the minimum and not kill my kids. There's been lots of apologizing on my part for yelling. Not fun.

I was out of town on Saturday. As always, during the time away I was excited to get back in the game with the kids. I analyzed, reassessed, and came to some conclusions. I had some good ideas for making our lives AWESOME as I always do...when I'm away! We got back on Sunday...and it was weird. We hadn't been with the kids for even an hour, and nothing was going wrong. But my anxiety level was through the roof. And I could PHYSICALLY feel my breathing constricting. Just because I was in my own house and around the kids. No other reason.

Sad moment. You know? I'm a mom. That's what I do. That's my job. And I'm feeling like I'm not even CAPABLE of doing a good job. That thought in and of itself is depressing. And I don't have time to WAIT IT OUT. Yes things usually are good, but a couple weeks here and there of 'not good' add up.

So mark your calendars: next Tuesday at 8:30 am. I'm biting the bullet and having this IUD ripped out.

And if that doesn't work, we'll be onto the next. Because life is too short to not be happy!

Have any of you had symptoms like this with birth control? PLEASE tell me the IUD is my problem! Haha! Have you found a birth control that's pretty "normal", just lets you be you?

Help us all out, share the secrets!

14 comments:

  1. You know all my issues! haha...no I had the exact same problem. And it was a DARK fog...for a LONG time and if Sam even looked at me I wanted to fight him. It was bad. So as of right now I'm free as a bird, not on anything and I'm happy...but it wont be forever...I don't want to end up like the mom on 19 kids and counting...but I'm going to find the one that's RIGHT for my body and not settle for anything less!

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  2. I'm feeling the same way about mine! Not to mention the pregnancy dreams I have been having... It's a problemo

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  3. I am super sensitive to hormones!! I was crazy even just on the pill. I have used the nuvaring for years and have really like it. I have thought about the IUD several times and good to know it has had some negative effects. I have always hesitated with that because you can't just stop it, you have to go in and have it taken out. You should try the nuvaring--you might like it. If you do try it and they don't tell you, take it out during sex! Or it can hurt! You can keep it out for a couple of hours and still be ok.

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  4. So glad you've come to terms with a decision. I'm still working on mine. I'm looking forward to hearing your experience once it's out. You know I'm worried that they'll take mine out and I won't have anything to blame anymore. I'll just have to face the fact that all the craziness is straight up mine!

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  5. I'm not convinced it's the IUD either. But at this point, I'm gonna start narrowing down possibilities!

    Heather, I'm confused about the nuvaring. you take it out during sex but wear it all the other time?? sounds like a lot of work. i'd rather call trojan man!!!

    maybe i'ts time to send yosh for a snip snip. what do we think about that?!!

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  6. I never did well on any kind of birth control. Made me crazy and was the cause of silly fights. So I've made Lane go old school with Mr Trojan. (he doesn't mind, which I know is rare). We plan on only having one more and he's totally on board with a little snip. Figure after a total of 30 months pregnant and 3 labors, it's his turn to get worked on down there. That's the plan, we'll see if he's still game when it's time :)

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  7. I remember ur fog w Deets and I do believe a trip to the Lou to see ur Tinelly helped lots. I say we make it a girls weekend and u and Kai come see me. or since im such a good friend if I HAD to I could come to u :) Think about it!

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  8. i am seriously considering the IUD after this baby. I don't do well with birth control...and I don't think i am ready for another 15 months apart baby either.... So i wanted to try something more "permanent" for a few years. It seems some people LOVE the iud and some people HATE it. it seems to fall in those extremes. Keep us updated if you find a great form of birth control. :) I need it too!!

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  9. It's probably the IUD. Whenever I am on any kind of hormonal birth control I think, "It's probably not the b.c. but me just feeling like my life isn't worth living, and wanting to punch everyone around me in the face".
    But it always is the stupid birth control. Mark and I have vowed I will never be on anything with hormones. Whenever I start to think, "Well maybe..." Mark stops me in my tracks with a loud, "no way".
    Take that thing out and you will probably feel much better. But I still feel like a pretty crappy mom frequently enough, and being around my kids really stresses me out, so when you figure out how to avoid that feeling please write a post about it.

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  10. most women generally have a hard time with synthetic hormones. i think men would as well, but they don't usually have to deal with them. :-) as for which method is best for you depends on many factors: do you react to hormones? (sounds like you do)- so maybe an IUD without hormones or a low dose pill. how important is it to NOT get pregnant? if you don't care maybe the rhythm method. how willing is your husband to cooperate with birth control? maybe condoms. how conscientious are you? the nuvaring has very low doses of hormones and a high success rate but you have to take it out every 3 weeks. and there is always the creativity option. :-) anyway - so many choices to figure out which one works for you and for your phase of life.

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  11. I was only on the pill for a short while and it would give m pregnancy symptoms every first day of the month (nausea, throwing up, super hormonal). Totally not worth it! None of my sisters can do the pill either, however my sister did the iud and liked it. I'm not sure what I'll do (since right now it doesn't matter ;-). I would prefer anything that doesn't deal with hormones! Life is hard enough without extras of those!

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  12. Nuvaring only comes out every 3 weeks for 1 week while you have your cycle, it stays in no matter what other than that. I was highly allergic to that one but I've heard decent things about it. It's probably not worth the risk of taking it out during sex. The pill can be a lot of work because it's a daily thing but that has been my favorite so far. Good luck with your search! :)

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  13. Gay! I can relate! I used the nuva ring at the beginning of the marriage, and lets just say the hubster had no idea who it was that he had married. I was a raging lunatic! I didn't give it as much time as you have, that baby came out real quick. It was obvious my body reacted to the slightest amount of hormone. Thus be came the best form of birth control, pull n' pray baby! Until two not pulls and two pregnancies later we realized it wasn't the greatest birth control. So after Zuri babe was born, I decided I was going to try an IUD. I went with the paraguard, (The IUD without hormones) and I haven't had any problems with it so far, (maybe you should ask D :) ) I hear you have harsher cycles, but I'm still breast feeding so I haven't experienced that yet. A little painful at first, but now nothing! BUT, if you guys know for sure you are done bringing these beautiful babes here, then I think yosh should get a little snip snip, and make sure you rub his back and hold his hand while he does ;) xoxo!!

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  14. I'm all on board for the snip snip! It's his turn to have a little work done down under.

    Can I be honest with you... I had an IUD before I had Davis, when we were first married. Loved it, but hated the hormones in it (face always breaking out, ryan could feel it) So after I had Davis, we didn't use anything (just the pull out method & tried to avoid that time of the month). I loved not being on anything, but do you know what, I was still crazy! I have come to the conclusion that it's me & maybe just part of being a woman. I am slightly difficult & just a bit crazy. But that's okay, I'm comfortable with it. I have thought about trying an IUD with no hormones in it next time or I have heard good things about the Nuvaring too. I'm excited to hear how your feeling once it's out!

    The joys we get to go through as a woman. Sigh.

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