Monday, March 12, 2012

Unsolicited Advice

I was looking at how nice and neat and hotelesque my towels looked, all folded nice and neat in their perfect place.

And this little thought hit me…I wonder if people think I'm one of those that does it all- clean house, kids in school, fed everyday..... Wow that's a short list. Whatever. But even with this short list, I don't do it all. I hire out another wife. A very capable one that kicks my butt in the home-keeping department. And I probably get credit for her work.

Bigger than my concern that you think I'm a do-it-all when there's not a chance in my wildest fantasies that's the this fear:

That there are mamas out there that are afraid to take the reigns and do whatever it is that you know would work for your family. Whatever makes your family run smoother, whatever makes you happier and your life/job  more manageable, whatever is worth it to you…is worth the fight.

Is another wife worth more than clothes to me: absolutely.
Is another wife worth more than home decorating to me: absolutely.
Is another wife worth not going out to eat to me: that's a tough one.....

Know your needs, own them, and fight for them. You are the one that knows your family and it's needs better than anyone. Don't let the fact that standing up for yourself is hard and uncomfortable stop you- you're your only advocate.  

Be willing to try change- not committing to it forever, just try it. Whether that means someone helping you around the house, or eating frozen dinners 2x a week, or pushing for 5 hours of babysitting a week, or going out one night a week ALONE while your man is on duty....whatever your needs are. 

Here's one last secret: I still love myself. Like a lot. Even though I don't do it all. Relinquishing some of the reigns doesn't detract from our worth a single bit.  And relinquishing reigns doesn't make you any less capable.We're just becoming more efficient  delegaters- yea baby! Growing families need to be open to change.

Love yourself, follow your heart and....just stand up for yourself?!! Alright we got this, mamas!!

{speaking of help, my kids wouldn't have had any of even their basic needs met today if Virginia weren't here- I feel like giving her a big ole kiss on the lips. Is that too forward? I'm feeling border-line on my death bed. She also took care of me- orange juice and homemade chicken soup. Great runner-up to my own mama.}


  1. You know I love to give and get unsolicited advice. And you're right. Whatever we decided to 'let go' doesn't make us any less of a person. I'm also glad you had Virginia there. I've been thinking about you and hoping that you're feeling better!

  2. Your great and this is delightful advice... Em


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