Tuesday, January 22, 2013

If I Were a Boy....

So I'm just going to put it out there...
I don't quite get what the heck Beyonce was talking about  
in her rendition of "If I were a Boy".
The idea was there, but truth be told, she lost me with her lyrics.

And so...and SO...I wrote my own.

Feel free to sing along.
{No, but for real....}

If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd choose to sit when I take a pee
I'd be a hundred percent flusher
There'd be nothing to clean up after me.

I'd pick up my clothes
And, heck, I'd even hang yours too.
I'd clean up dishes and take out the trash
Would tackle that list called honey-do.
If I were a boy
Birthdays would be o'er the moon
I would treat you like a queen
Leaving the other girls to swoon. 

I'd change the channel
Off of college football
'cause today would be about you,
We'd get a couples pedicure
And cap it off with dinner for two. 

If I were a boy
Every long day would end
With a twenty minute massage
Actual massaging- without hip movement.

I'd take care of you
Especially on our anni,
the best day of my life, because
That was the day I won you, I won you.

If I were a boy
I wouldn't do it the first time
I'd wait til try number ten
To get your "broken" car working again.

I'd focus on you   
Since I can't multi-task 
I'd turn off the TV and my phone
I'd hang on to your every word
  My attention would be on you alone.

But I'm just a girl
So what do I know
I'm probably just crazy, oh
Cause crazy is what us girls do....

Wow...Beyonce is a lot more long winded than me so I'm going to have to cut my song a little bit short. Besides if I kept going, I think I would have turned the whole male gender into...women! And not to mention, after reading this, it sounds like if I were a boy.....I'd be gay. Nothing against you, gay boys. You know I got nothing but love for you. But I might as well just stick with being a girl. A girl...named gay?

I'm in cahoots with one of my Midwest girls, Erin, over at Living in Yellow for this "If I were a boy...." shenanigan. I guarantee that she'll give you at least a couple literal LOLs and won't even charge you for them! So now we're ready to hear it-- what would life be like if you were a boy? And don't worry, you can skip the whole song lyrics format and just go freestyle!
 Make sure you mention that you're linking up over here!

Alright, let the party begin.....
E'rbody e'rbody get your link up on!  

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  1. Oh my goodness, I absolutely love that you re-wrote the song. You literally have me peeing my pants reading this!! Every line is freaking perfect!! You are too funny! =) Love love love this!

  2. what?!! you totally rock, i can't believe you came up with that!

  3. Gay, you are super funny. The multi task part-- you MUST know my husband. I'm your newest follower. Let's be friends?

  4. Ummm...I'm pretty sure you are amazing for writing that! Haha! :) I love it! And, I'm your newest follower! :) I can't wait to read more!


  5. That is too awesome! Boys would be a lot better if they could be like women in some ways... :)

  6. This was actual perfection. I need everyone, especially my boyfriend, to read this asap. Must run and share!

  7. That's one heck of a song, I think you have a better idea than Beyonce, haha!

  8. Loved this idea and link up! Definitely love how you used the song, so fun!


  9. adore this link up. so fun and love how you used the song. haha

  10. I LOVE that you actually wrote your own lyrics...lol I need to print these out and present them to the next guy I date. Its a perfect how to.

  11. Girls, you're making me feel like I should be a song writer! Haha! I've loved reading your posts- this is some good stuff!

  12. This is a great Link Up, Thanks for hosting.
    I love the fact that you wrote it out like a song! Loved it!
    Newest Follower!



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