Monday, October 15, 2012

{High Demands}

I'm sitting here in the airport, laughing at our situation from an outsiders perspective. I'm currently glued to my laptop, doing the best I can to ignore those trying to break my concentration. Ok, maybe not "those" trying to break my concentration- better worded, "that one person". Deeter is at my side, dishing out demands the way only a strong 3 year old knows how to do. He wants me to color because he "can't". He needs me to help him. He will never be able to do anything. All said with the saddest, most pathetic look on his face. This sounds like a very legit sob story. I have the feeling everyone watching wonders, "Seriously? Won't that mom just get off her computer and give that poor, darling kid some attention? I swear, moms these days…" 

Bless their hearts. Because I'd probably be thinking the same thing if I were wearing their heads and watching the same scene. But what they don't know….

I've been tied to this same demanding, darling three-year-old for the last two days. I have invited him on a trip instead of leaving him at home with two of my other kids. I have been putting up with his next-to-incessant whining, his non-sensical reasoning, his over-tired reactions, his innate personality- all with mostly a smile-esq look on my face. And more immediately- as in since we've been in this airport- I have fed him lunch while listening to him scream at me, I have played 10 games of 'BLINK' with him even though he complies with zero of the rules {as expected from a three year old, but hard to explain to a six year old}, I have fulfilled his demands by taking him on a walk and now taking him to the gate to wait for the airplane.

So guess what???

I'm temporarily off-duty. I'm consciously taking a break from being at his beck and call. And I can deal with others looking at me thinking I'm a technology-addicted, child neglecting, self-indulgent mother. I really can. 

Because I also currently have a couple of needs that I'd like to satisfy. Needs that will always be side-lined unless I consciously decide to sideline other 3 year old's needs...because his needs are never satisfied. He's always got a few more.

I like that about Deeter, that he can demand his way regardless of circumstance. He could care less that he almost didn't get invited on this getaway. That is not going to temper his personality one bit. This weekend, I kept thinking about Deeter as a grown adult, or at least a teenager. I was imaging us all talking to him and laughing and saying, "Oooohhh Deeter, if you could have seen yourself as a kid… You were a piece of work!" And we would all just laugh because he will have grown and matured into a milder version of himself. He will still have the fire in him but have learned how to direct it a little more deliberately and precisely.

I like gaining this perspective that only seems to be available when out of our everyday operations. This weekend I was thinking how I really need to put a little more effort in figuring out how to soften myself and be more available to get along with Deeter when he's not needing/wanting to get along with a single soul. I've never had teenagers so I can't say for certain, but I have an inkling that this here time is a little grace period that we have- a gift if you will- to figure out how to connect and most effectively communicate with our kids before they enter the untouchable years, i.e.: the 14-18 year zone.  What we figure out now could be the key to getting along with them later. 


A few months ago I had an idea for our little family. The idea was to take a weekend getaway twice a year with one parent and two kids, always mixing up the combination. In my mind, I thought it would be a great way to strengthen individual bonds, both between the parents and kids, and between the kids. This unplanned trip to visit my parents {and sisters and nieces and nephews} presented the opportunity to try this little scheme out. And I have to say, I like it. It was so gratifying to watch Porter take on the role of older brother with Deeter. He was much more tender and considerate of his "needs" than he usually is. I saw him offering up his electronics to give Deeter a turn, he gave up his window seat for Deeter to have, I caught the boys on a chair where Porter was reading Deeter a book. Porter is a sensitive little guy and always looks out for his brothers/sister when he thinks they may be in trouble {whether they're hurt or he thinks they might get lost} and he made sure Deeter was accounted for all weekend.

I think it was a success, especially considering that we started with the most "spirited" couple. Meaning, usually these two are oil and water.

Our get-away consisted of seeing grandma and grandpa, swimming at the rec center and doing the awesome waterslides with Cali and her kids, going to Hotel Transylvania with Cali and her kids and Tess and her kids, and listening to Grandma AJ play the piano in church. 

{How about those pictures for Women Empowerment?!! Get them flowing- excited to see what this month's montage will look like!}

stalk AGNG:


  1. I love hearing your views of motherhood. It always makes me feel a little more normal about the thoughts I have toward my own children. :) Hope you three had a great getaway! You are such a good mama!

  2. Are Deeter and Mason long lost brothers separated at birth? I think so. I loved this post...made me happy. Why because I have been listening to demands from my 2 1/2 year old all day long! I sometimes can't take it. I sat in the garage for a half hour yesterday reading blogs because I could keep him locked in his car seat. I sure hope it pays off someday.
    Thanks for making me feel a little more normal :)

    1. i shouldn't be....but i'm totally LOLing reading this. there is no shame in the game when it comes to finding a few minutes of sanity! i've been practicing hiding from Deeter for a solid 2 years now and I'm getting good at knowing when/where to take my moments! luv ya cam!

  3. Proud of you for letting go of what other people were probably thinking at the airport. I'm also proud of you for inviting that little punk on your trip! You don't give yourself enough credit for making things happen. You have a great way of taking things that might make you a little hesitant and going forward anyway. Does that make sense? Maybe I should just tell you in person?


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